Mary-Veronica sits on the hood of the Hummer like she really, really wants you to spread her legs another two inches, slide her zebra-striped bikini bottom aside, and give her a good, hard reason to stop drinking her tallboy PBR. She looks young. My age, maybe, but it’s hard to tell. The photo reminds me of the first time a teacher taught me how to study a painting. Notice how your eyes move. The light there, you see it first, and then you see everything else in relation to that light. In order, then: legs, bikini bottom, TO SURF license plate, sandals, Hummer, long-sleeve neoprene top, hair, PBR. You can’t even see her face. It’s blocked by the beer can, and I keep looking at her legs.
She isn’t actually Mary-Veronica. First she was Veronica, and then, after I gave her $140 but before she gave me her address, she became Mary. She’s still Mary. Very much Mary. Hi, I’m Mary! Steward of the environment * supermodel * Christian wife * surfer. Mary, host of the Sunroom fit for Super Queens in Port Angeles, WA, $42/night + fees.